Paul reports on the Ivy Hatch/Basted stinger

The Bastard Run !!! (for non Facebookers)

Well it started off at the Plough pub in Ivy Hatch and was not billed as a ‘Bastard‘ run. In fact the coach had said it was fairly flat in the invite e-mail, so it was quite a relief to find out the route went via Basted rather than any more demanding interpretation.

He gave back-up maps to Duncan and Lars at the start. They gave me a look like he had just given them something he had trodden on. Duncan was straight in to the ‘sticking together’ suggestion before he even started the turn left at the tree instructions…

In one way this was a great countryside run. A chance to get out and close to nature and enjoy an English early summer morning.  Five minutes later with regular should of ‘Oh bastard’, there was a general feeling that we had got too close to nature. It would appear that stinging nettles also grow well this time of year. He tried in vain to suggest that the tingling feeling in there legs was a reflection that they were now properly warmed up and was threatened by Patrick with that old RAF jape of throwing the coach in another bunch of stingers if he doesn’t shut up !  As we past the home of one of Simon’s family relatives, I noticed him trying to blend in to the pack in case he was spotted (out with an elite bunch of athletes, I expect). In fact, I thought I saw him move to take hold of the bottom of his shirt, prior to one of those football goal celebrations when they pull there shirts over their heads – so embarrassed was he not to be wearing the club kit !

The rest of the run was like a dance - quick, quick, slow – every time the path narrowed and the stingers came back, we all went in to running in ‘dancing fairy mode’ (aka Oaks Blokes Morris Dancers – mid-summer is clearly approaching).  The run through Basted was uneventful (and here is where I would normally tell you an interesting fact about Basted – now this has caused me some difficulty and after much research on the internet, I can only tell you nothing happens there, except that there is a large section devoted to it in a gay flat share site.

The only other thing I could find about it, is Rocket Ron Pigden works at the Plough there, he has very boring 5 min You-tube clip of him in action – I think it is an ironic name (no offence intended Ron).

It was only a 5 mile route today but that gave us more time in the pub over coffee and bacon sarnies – many thanks to the Ivy Hatch, Plough – no Rocket Ron here.  Welcome also to Nigel, brought this week for the first time by Duncan H to a fairly chaotic run – I would say it can only get better -  but you might disagree !!!!


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