Duncan's 10 10

10:10 as I am sure you are aware is normally associated with the global campaign for members to reduce carbon emissions by 10% (with over 78,000 members), it is an interesting point that Ten Ten is also the name of the Californian international CB radio club (promoting the use of the 10 meter radio wave band – exciting stuff) with a similar number of members. One will save you about £100 per year the other will cost you £10 per year. However, with some groundbreaking journalistic innovation you will surprised to see it being used in relation to running – what a surprise !!

Now the key to this Saturdays run had been well trailered, a flat 10K road run as a preparation run for Brighton. I should mention for those of you who may have missed last weeks ‘Coaches Dictionary’ – ‘flat’ means ‘only one hill’.

Now Duncan L was taking this seriously. He was up at Hollybush for a pre run 45 minutes warm-up –  that is about a long as it takes Duncan to run a 10K. After that sort of warm up most of us would be straight into the coffee shop.

I started the briefing on the road route – clearly the intention was for everyone to run their fastest to get a time for planning purposes at Brighton. I asked two fairly simple questions both of which I didn’t think were that hard to answer. Question 1 ‘Does everybody want to do the road run rather than the park?’ – Unanimous answer, ‘yes’. There follows a detailed explanation of the route. Question 2 ‘Does everybody understand the route?’ All bar 3 answer ‘yes’ – three marked maps dished out. OK at this point I thought (stupidly) that this was going to be easy. 10 seconds later, Mark turns up and says, ‘I am just going for a gentle run on my own in the park’. No problem, except 11 of the ‘decisive industrial leaders in the top percentile nationally’ then say, ‘Yes me too actually, I would rather run in the park.’ OK quick change of plan Duncan can do the 10K group (they all know the way anyway, so no stress there) and I will do the park run. I went quickly off to start them at the tennis courts, not realizing that Duncan was changing his shoes. So Duncan was left post 45 min warm up needing to catch up the main group that had a good two minute head start on him.  Never mind, it was still going to be OK – there all knew the way after all !!

So whilst Duncan went off like a whippet down a drain pipe,  whilst I went for a gentle meander around the park – we stayed to the path because funnily enough I was wearing road shoes (can’t imagine why after this weather!). This was mostly Lar’s ‘self-help’ group. I did not realize what this meant until we were a couple of miles into the run. The self help bit refers to how they support and encourage each other to find the shortest way possible, back to the coffee shop – quite a good plan I thought. – never too old to learn a new trick.

Well now, I know that last sentence is not true really – blokes and directions. It is a male point of pride. We always to understand directions straight off regardless of reality. I have found myself at times asking for directions in parts of the country that I have never visited before. The local old guy saying, ‘go down here until you get to the Old Bull Pub, do you know that?’ A ‘Yes’, (of course I do I am a bloke and we know every pub in the country –how hard can it be to spot a pub in the middle of no where – they are all well signed anyway).  Not if they are called the OLD Bull because they have now been converted into a private house ! So why did I bother at the beginning, asking everyone if they understood the route. So as I met the road racers I asked them how it had gone – they all said yes fine, great. Except Nigel P – who complained that he and all the others had gone wrong way. They had not complained as they had said yes to my earlier question – of course Nigel had arrived late and had missed the briefing, so was happy to pass on this information.

Ok one complaint – still not too bad. They were all back and stretched off (except Duncan who having done it, had gone back for strugglers as Gary had told him (hopefully) there were more behind him – I like your positive thinking). There was not, and Duncan got back about 20 minutes later than everyone else, having now completed 10 miles rather than 10K.

 15 Fancy Pants Bacon Sarnies at Rafferty’s later( great service by the way – thanks guys/girls) I was starting to relax and feel we had got away with it – no one lost or hurt and only one moan. As we finished our second cup of coffee – Fergal comes down the stairs and joins us and saying excitedly “Its OK we are back, we got lost and went to Otford instead and must have done 10 miles’. I said ‘but I gave you one of the Maps.’  ‘Ah yes’ he says, ‘but Chaz (that’s Andrew M, for those looking to ID him) said it’s ok we won’t get lost I used to be a geography teacher.’

What can I say – but a perfect ending, just perfect !

Rafferty's - 15 Fancy Pants later ….

Rafferty's - 15 Fancy Pants later ….

Run Dictionary

Brasted away, this was always going to be popular – last time we visited, the service at the 96 coffee shop may not have been good, but the servers had looked great. It was under new management, so the boys were keen to know if the service would be as good as before, as we ran past the front I checked the opening time and saw it now didn’t open until 10am – too late for us. (see picture later)

It was like one of those integrity tests that internal discipline conduct in large companies – do I mention it and create a small mutiny or just keep ‘mum’ until the last minute. Now, I have seen the ‘Pleb Gate’ comments in the press and the officers apologies for going to the media too early – so I decided to show that, you can teach old farts new tricks – I decided therefore not to publicise the fact that there was no post run coffee, too early – so kept mum (yes I know it may not have been brave but it was at least current !)

Now the pre run brief had been my normal honest balanced view of the run. It had stated that “most of the up was at the start of the run”. Now at the top of the first hill and at the bottom of the second hill there was some criticism of the run description – so I thought it would be useful to give a translation of running coach speak into working English … for the top 6 - see below

  1. Most of the up is at the start of the run = The first hill is a bastard and then there are least a couple more.
  2. Gently undulating = Its bloody hilly
  3. This is the last hill = There are two more hills to come after this one
  4. We are nearly back = We are still a couple of miles out.
  5. It’s a beautiful run = It is a beautiful run, but you probably wont notice it as by the time you get to the views your vision will be too blurred to see it.
  6. It is all down hill from here = I am lying, and you know it really.

Now to be fair there were some stunning performances on todays run. Some of the slower group moving up to join the faster group. You guys are really doing well – and you should be rightly proud of yourselves. Well done !!!

Now the moment did come during the stretch session where I had to tell the guys that the coffee shop was not open . Fergal (see photo – did not take the news well !!!)  

Top of the first big climb - so far so good !!!

Top of the first big climb - so far so good !!!

I told Fergal the coffee shop was shut, I think he took it well !!!

I told Fergal the coffee shop was shut, I think he took it well !!!

Poor Investment - Shows No Rise

At the request of many of the group I had agreed to run some 10K training sessions prior to the Brighton (very competitive those high flying city lot!). Having completed a fairly tough (well, only one man down) ‘tempo’ session the previous week, I spent some time looking into different types of hill sessions (time well invested, I thought). In particular, I was looking for something a little more gentle than the normal steep hills I use. I had found some interesting research from Scandinavia that I thought it was the ticket.

Now, I knew that it was going to be a bit of a hard sell at 8am on a Saturday morning, (I had done financial sales many years ago, so I know hard sell). The pitch was going to have to be spot on, but on the other hand, they had asked for it, so I shouldn’t have to work that hard.  33 members collected together at the start.  I gave an outline of the session (you know the sort of thing, “easy running a possible a gently slope of two, but as much down as up”). I didn’t feel I could soften it any further without actually lying. Now, I was never going to get 100%. Surprisingly, the vote was 100% - against ! Bloody democracy !!

So just to balance the failure of my investment, which was about as successful as the current American fiscal policy, we went on a nice route through the mud. I got them disorientated in the woods – the picture is what it looks like when you tell them to make there own way home – clear decisive men of action (I think not).

A Serious Note of Concern.

PS - Gents, I have noted some slacking on behalf of several of you on the coffee drinking front (I know the service was slow) but this week was one of the cheapest bills I have had for months. You guys just need to put in a bit more effort – I even heard some vaguely sensible conversations … I really don’t know what has happened to some of you.

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